maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
