I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So many bounce houses so little time
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
