Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
