Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Randomize
