ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
