Apparently you make a good broom.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize