just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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