so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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