be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
