He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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