Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think people are normalizing furries
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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