Porn is love you can see.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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