he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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