can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
