I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
