remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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