the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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