on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
