So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
