Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
