We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
