The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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