on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
sex in a hospital.. check
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize