i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
high people should be assigned attendants
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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