i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
