He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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