I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
