i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize