I cockslap morals
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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