hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize