OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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