I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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