We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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