we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
