Buhtt sex?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
