The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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