Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
