he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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