what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
