Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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