I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
