Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
