The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
