I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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