We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
