My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
