she told me i tasted like america
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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