your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
