how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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