Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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