For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
