is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
