I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She needs sedatives and a leash
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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