If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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