i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's official drugs can't kill me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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